You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
