Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
