You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
