I bet he comes in French.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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