you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
