It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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