You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
