We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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