It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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