Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm at about main and main street
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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