What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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