Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
