i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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