Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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