OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The feeling are messing with the penis
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
