belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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