I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
