omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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