At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
