Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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