Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
