I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
