Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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