Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
