I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
