OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
this boner is exhausting
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
