Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
