When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
