I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
