What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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