we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
