Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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