I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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