the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
