remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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