Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
