East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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