The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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