Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
