sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
