I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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