The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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