question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
