i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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