Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
