Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
