Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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