Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
