how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
