why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
